Day 1 and 2 recap: The curtain is lifting!

Yesterday was great! I ate slowly and concentrated on how I felt as I ate. I also tried to taste my food more than I usually do. I came in a little low on my calories, but I figure that being a few calories off of 1200 won't kill me, especially after the last 2 weeks of eating so much.

As far as exercise went, man it was hard! I did my strength and and hour on the treadmill. Our treadmill is in a small room with very little ventilation. Guess who was dripping with sweat at the end of the work out. Overall I felt good about what I did, and am still motivated to keep going.

Today I did cardio. To be specific I did Turbo Jam cardio party 1. It was fun, but difficult. Still I made it through and am sticking to my guns about eating healthy. I don't know what our plans for dinner are tonight, but hopefully it will be enough to satisfy me and achieve my calorie goal.

So the first two days have been a success. I am keeping my goals in mind. Of course the usual healthy goals, but also going on a cruise for my 30th birthday and getting down to healthy weight so that I can have children. Those are the big motivators right now.

I've been kidding myself.

You know that feeling where you have been working hard and not seeing any results and you feel like you have somehow been cheated? That has been me....except without the working hard. Today is our first day back from a 2 week hiatus in Seattle. I have definitely gained weight from all the eating out and laying around. Don't get me wrong I was expecting to gain weight, I just had hoped it would be less.

So today I was honest with myself and said, "Self, we really haven't been trying." So today I have started again. I have eaten well so far (Fiber One for breakfast, a salad with protein and fruit for lunch) and plan on finishing the day with a healthy dinner. I am also planning on doing some strength and cardio later, but first I am going to take a nap, because I feel like I am about to fall over.

I will try to find a way to post my workouts on here, other than typing them out. I have planned for the whole month of October! The goal is to finish all of those workouts and lose about 4 lbs. I am hoping my weight will decrease 4 lbs., but if it is only 4 lbs. of calories, well that is fine as well.

A tough 2 weeks.

Well I am in Seattle with my husband! While it is nice to be here it certainly hasn't helped me stay on track with my goals. So far I have had struggles both on the exercise and eating fronts.Let me explain.

Kubota Garden in Seattle

 When I was packing to come I brought three workout videos. Turbo Jam, Punch Kick and Jam, and Slim in Six. I also brought my 3 lb. weights. My plan was to work out in the hotel room with my videos. I thought I was pretty safe, because even if there wasn't room in the room there would be the hotel work out room where I could do cardio.

  The first day I moved the furniture in the hotel room and took a long look. I decided while I did not have enough room for Turbo Jam, I definitely had enough for Slim in 6. I decided I could do Slim in 6 and then go downstairs and run on the treadmill. So I popped in the DVD and started with the easiest section (Start it up). I decided it was pretty easy so I used my weights. Big mistake! I didn't think about it very well though, and I felt good when I finished, so I was excited. I then went downstairs and walked/ran for an hour. The treadmill is really nice and adjusts speed and the incline as you walk/run. My calves and glutes worked hard since I just randomly chose a 400 calorie burn work out and the program mostly relied on increasing the incline to make the goal. So basically now I had done some pretty tough strength training on my lower body and then added a pretty good amount of strain on the same muscles doing my cardio.

A very interesting, swirled tree top

  The next morning I woke up so sore it was hard to get out of bed. Sitting down was hard, let alone walking up and down stairs or walking more than 2 mph. Honestly I couldn't even lower myself to sit on the toilet...yeah. After drinking water and doing some stretching I decided I needed to go walk on the treadmill and get my muscles loosened up some more. I took it easy and after that I was more comfortable. The next day I was about the same when I woke up. My husband and I decided to go to the zoo, and soon I was noticeably limping. Poor hubby had to be at work at 2:00 so we only saw about half the Zoo because I was so slow. Sigh. The next day we went on a pretty much all uphill hike with one of our friends. It was hard,  and I felt bad that I was so out of shape and slow. Ugghh.

  The rest of the week I progressively improved. I didn't get on the treadmill or work out to my videos. Instead I went to a couple of parks and spent several hours hiking, walking, and taking pictures. By this week I was back on track. I got on the treadmill and did my strength work out yesterday. This time I took it easy and did not use my weights. I have decided that I will use the next couple of weeks to slowly work up.

One of the quiet ponds in the garden

Happily my legs are already feeling stronger, and I don't mean they feel less sore, they actually seem to have more definition and strength. Yay! I'm sure it is a minor change or just an increased perception of what is already there, but still I am excited!

  As far as food goes...umm. Yeah. I have had beer with many a dinner, and last week I think I might have eaten a couple of veggie servings. I have been eating fruit...but lots of cabs and protein and fat mostly. This week I finally began craving veggies. I have been eating a lot of salad, much better than pizza, burgers, and sandwiches. I don't feel I have gained weight, but honestly I haven't weighed myself in about a month, so I will have to do it when I get home, and I am sure I will be very depressed. SIGH.

I wonder what kind of flower this is?

  Anyways, that's how I have been doing. I'm sorry I haven't posted recently, but hopefully I will be getting back to a more regular schedule soon.

Working out is...well...working out?

 So I have been doing Turbo Jam the past couple of days and it has been really fun! It has mainly been cardio, with a little strength thrown in. However, today I am going to try The Firm Bootcamp video I have. I am a little nervous, because apparently there is a lot of lunging, squatting, and strength training involved between the cardio. Yipes!

  When I did the firm Dance video last week it was hilarious. I have never been a dancer, and lets just be glad that no one was around to see me flailing around in the living room. usually I could catch up with the routine about half way through, but there was never any guarantee that I would perform the moves correctly, or even the same way twice. Oh well.

  Overall I had fun doing the work out, but I didn't really sweat or get out of breath. So until I can learn the moves better and bump up the intensity, I think I am going to have to use it as an extra workout when I feel like doing more. At least it gives me something to move to.

  After Bootcamp today I may have to try and do some Turbo Jam, I'm not sure how effective I am going to be since I can't remember what is in the video. Blehh. The thing I am looking forward to a lot is starting Slim in 6 again. Hopefully between that and Turbo sculpt I can get some muscle built up.

Well, wish me luck. I have a lot to do today, including going food shopping. Hopefully I will continue to make good choices!

No more excuses!

So I had a long discussion about my weight with my husband last night. He is very supportive. He is also good at inadvertently pointing out how I am sabotaging myself. After about half an hour he had successfully demonstrated that the only problem I was really suffering from was a serious lack  of commitment. Sigh.

  I know I posted a lot about being committed, but that doesn't make it any easier. Basically my problem is I am building walls where there don't need to be any. There are enough hours in the day for me to get everything done, I just need to do it. I can get up early, I can go to bed later, I can structure my day to help me succeed. I just need to do it, and accept that it is going to be a long, hard road. So I am going to do that.

  Today I started tracking my calories on Calorie Count again. This web site has helped a lot of people, and I think it will help me too if I am faithful. I have tried using it in the past, but have always gotten sucked into the message boards and then become to obsessed with everything. SO I am trying to stay away from the message boards, and just count my calories and activities.

  I am definitely going to stick to my exercise plan, and do my best to stay positive, and not obsess about food. Hopefully it will work out. Today I am at a bit of a loss as to what  to plan for lunch. This is a possible problem area. If I don't plan I just eat what looks good, and then eat too much. I am thinking possibly a salad with some skim mozzarella and turkey pepperoni....that sounds good!

  Now I have to start the day. I have a lot to do, and I can't sit in front of my computer and expect to accomplish things! Wish me luck!

I'm still here...just taking my time!

  I have been pretty inconsistent in blogging I know. The problem is our Internet crapped out last week, and with the long weekend we couldn't call until today. Alas, it is still out. I am currently at the school using their computer because I had volunteering to do today. Hopefully our Internet will be up and running again soon.

  Meanwhile, I have been doing well withe consistently walking the dog and drinking water. Yay! Calorie intake leaves something to be desired. I have a really hard time staying at 1200 calories, so I think I am going to have to up my range to 1500. Exercise is going slow. I am having to work my way back up to doing Turbo Jam every day. The first day I did it felt great. The second day my left knee began to feel funny toward the end. The next day I had a minor incident of my knee suddenly hurting as I went downstairs. SO I took a break and plan on working out again tonight.

  I hope to be blogging regularly again soon!

Day One: Regaining Self Control

  Today was an ok day. I am currently recovering from a few days of binge eating. The problem with eating disorders is it's really hard to totally get rid of them. Even after months or years, when you are feeling pretty good about yourself they can still pop up. Of course if you are depressed or feeling bad about yourself, well then they really like to come barging back into your life.

  This past week has been hard because my husband has been working nights. Not only that, I have not been able to muster up the gumption to exercise, and have had zero inspiration in the kitchen. All of this got me pretty low.

Yawn....cooking? What?

 However, today is September 1st! I have a new month ahead of me and I am not going to waste it. It may be a hard day because I had a relatively large breakfast. Eating half of your daily calorie allowance in one sitting isn't really the best idea. This morning though I formulated a plan to help me stay on track.

Affirmation: Every day I am going to remind myself of what I am trying to achieve.

Plan: Plan for the day. If I am going out to eat I need to be ready to eat smaller meals for breakfast and lunch. If I think I will want something extra or think I might have low blood sugars I need to take the calories I will need into account for those things.

Eat: Eat what I want. Period.

Exercise: Daily Dog walks + Working out. Work outs have to be fun. I'm not wasting my time doing things I hate. That doesn't mean they won't be hard, or that I will love doing them all the time. If I like the instructors or the music though, things will be easier.

Strength: I need to be strong and not give in to my feelings of hunger. For me hunger mainly comes from poor blood sugar control. My blood sugar gets too high and my body thinks it hasn't gotten enough food when it actually has. I need to always test and then either eat or do something else to distract me from hunger. This is the hardest thing for me.

  That is my plan. Hopefully it will help me stay on track!